Depressed Rant

Well, I'm depressed. Not that you guys care anyway, right?

So apparently the last time I had a meaningful relationship was an online one with a girl from Minnesota who I met through a forum.

She thought I was cute, and we just started chatting. About anything, really. Her life, as awful as it is, my sad and trivial existence, or shared love for music, hell, it was through her I discovered Odd Future and re-kindled my love for hip hop, at least the alternative stuff anyway.

I remembered how jealous I was when she told me about her boyfriend, who she said she had broken up or in a rough patch. I can't remember. But basically we just talked about everything, like I said earlier. I think I knew her better than I know my own family at times, we were that close.

Hell, I even mailed a birthday present last year and she loved it. She always wanted a koala purse, I bought one for her. I remember how happy when she finally got into community college, trying to make something of herself.

Then, she patched up things with her boyfriend, (who sounds like a great guy I might add) we became "just friends", and then we chatted less and less, which I just assumed was because of her classes. But then, she just stopped. Just like that. This sounds pathetic, but I'm still waiting for her to get online for 6 months or so now. She even deleted her account at the forum where we met.

The funny thing is I am upset. I am sad. Hell, it depresses me. But for some reason I don't feel any ill will towards her or women in general. I don't even complain about "getting friendzoned" or anything like that. Hell, I don't know really. I'm not actively looking for a partner now, despite my friend's exhortations of finding a partner, being single is a feeling that I actually love, just as much as I enjoyed being in love.