The Beginner

Mina was lying in front of the tv, just surfing
through the channels, bored out of her mind.

"Gabe said he's going to call," she huffed.
"Really, sometimes I wonder why do I bother
with him. Sure, I've been taking care of him
ever since I bailed him out. I really should
force him to move in. That way, I could.."
she ranted on, before she heard the phone ring.

Grabbing it anxiously, she was about to start
in a flirtatious tone, but changed to her normal
tone when she realized who the other person was.

"Hey, Luther. What's up?" she began.

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked.

"What is it?" she sighed.

"Well, you see," he started, "there's this guy
new in town, and he just turned into a vampire
for three months now.."

"..so he needs someone to show him the ropes,"
Mina concluded.

"Basically, yeah."

"Where would I meet him?"

Luther provided her with the address, and informed
her to meet him around 10 pm.

She got dressed, sent Gabe a message telling him
she would be unavailable, and headed out.

* 10 PM *

Mina sat at the bench, looking at her surroundings,
but remained as alert as possible.

She saw a man in a cape approaching her with an
expectant look on his face, and to her chargin,
his face dropped when he saw her attire.

He sat down, and began with a dejected tone,
"I was expecting a sexy, exotic European girl," he sighed,
"not some chick wearing a..Bratmobile t-shirt with
green bangs,"

"Whatever." she replied. "I'm here to help you,
and your attitude will get you nowhere, ok?"

"Fine," he humphed. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, for starters," Mina began, "what's with the
look and accent?" pointing out his cape and long hair.

"Well, I'm looking the part," he replied.

Mina laid her palm on her forehead and sighed,
"You look like an asshole, that's for sure."

"What do you mean by that? If anything, you're
the one who doesn't look like a vampire," he retorted.

She hissed in reply. "Look, buddy. First
off, that kind of attire attracts attention. And
secondly, it's cumbersome when you go out on a hunt,
with your leather patent shoes and cape. It's hard
to run, climb and jump with those things," she
said, audibly frustrated.

"That's what you think," he replied. "Anyway, we
haven't got all night, we should go hunting."

"Sure," she replied, with a tint of sarcasm in her
voice. "Lead the way, my lord."

* Later, at the park. *

"Why are we here?" he asked.

"The park's a good hunting ground,for several reasons,"
Mina explained. "First, there's always an unsuspecting
victim available, second, the trees provide sufficient
cover for us to stay hidden until a victim arrives,
and third, it has a nice view."

"I have to ask you this question first. Have you ever
killed a person before?" Mina asked.

"Well, a few times, when I was really desperate," he
replied.

"It happens," she replied. "But usually around here we
have a moral code. First, consume only the necessary
amount. Second, only kill in self-defense. Third,
don't target innocents if you can."

"Do you always have three rules?" he asked.

"Easier to remember." she shrugged, pointing toward a tree. "Let's climb that one."

They waited in silence, and half an hour later, their
prey for the night arrived.

"Ok," Mina whispered. "wait here, until I give the signal,
wait for it...wait for it....now,"

He leaped out of his branch, baring his fangs, but as he
was about to leap out of the tree, his cape got caught
in the branches, trapping him.

Mina looked on, amused.

"I guess that proved my point, doesn't it?" she grinned.

"Fuck you, bitch," he snarled. "Get me out of here."

"Maybe not," Mina replied, and leapt down the tree.
"I don't help people who call women the b-word."

"Fine, fine," he snarled. "I'm sorry. Put me down."

"Alright," Mina replied, climbed back up the tree,
and set him free.

"Thanks," he said. "So what do we do now?"

"First, get rid of the cape. I told you it's rather
cumbersome. Just leave it on the bench there," she
instructed.

"This costs money, you know," he whined.

"Well, you should've invested in some running
shoes and comfortable clothes instead of trying to
look like some pretentious jerk," she replied.

"Good thing I have plenty of money," he said.

"Really? What did you do?" she asked.

"I was a banker," he replied.

"Figures," Mina smiled, shaking her head.
"A figurative and literal bloodsucker."

"Fuck you, you bitch," he snarled.

"Hey," Mina hissed. "Don't go around calling me that,
you jerk. We can argue all night, but you need to learn
how to hunt properly. Let's climb another tree," she
instructed, "and wait for my signal."

Again, they went through the same routine, and ten minutes
later, they spied a drunken man stumbling through the park,
singing out loud.

"Ok," she whispered. "On my signal. Wait for it..wait for it.."

A ringtone broke the silence.

It alerted the man, causing him to run away, confused and
terrified at the same time.

Mina glared angrily at the vampire. "Let's get out
of here," she said, jumping out of the trees, and running out of the park.

Once they're outside, Mina shouted, "UGH! You Idiot!"

"It's not my fault," he replied, rather casually.

"It is! It is your fault, you jerk! Use some god damned fucking
common sense! If you want to go hunting during the night, turn off
your phone or put it on vibrate! Ugh!" she shouted, and walked off.

"You sound like you need to get laid," he sneered.

She stopped, turned back, and said, "Oh? So what're you suggesting?
That I bounce off you like I'm someone you picked at some bar,
and you call her bitch the whole night?"

"Hey, it works, I mean, girls like you just need a good night
with a guy and.." he sneered.

"No, thanks," she replied. "I've got a boyfriend."

"Like that would stop me."

"For your information, buddy, my boyfriend is better
in the sack than you think you are, and I'm a monogamist. I know
it's a thing with bankers to screw anything that moves, but it's
not my scene. And if anything, from now on, just learn under Luther, at least
he's more patient than I am," she huffed, and started to walk away.

"You can't do this to me," he snarled.

"I can," she replied, and walked away, and before long, she reached
Gabe's apartment.

She rapped on it gently. "Gabe, it's me," she said.

Gabe opened the door.
"What're you doing here at this hour?" he asked, visibly tired.

"Just happened to be in the neighborhood," she replied,
went in, and flopped on his bed. "Long night."

"Long night? What happened?" he asked, crawling up the bed and laid
down next to her.

"I was supposed to teach this guy the ropes," she said, resting
on his chest, "but turns out he's a jerk with no common sense.
And then he suggested that I cheat on you with him, so I lost
it, and came here."

"Poor you," he replied, stroking her hair. "So why are you here?"

"Why are you here, he asked, as if he doesn't know what her
true intention really is," Mina replied, as she crawled up
on him. "I'm feeling lonely and I need some company, and...."

She paused for a moment, tracing her finger up his chest and towards his chin,
"I know the right guy for that," she whispered as her lips hovered
over his.

Just when they were about to meet, they were startled by the
sound of his apartment door crashing down.

"Oh shit," Mina sensed, "it's him."

"What the hell?" he whispered. "What do we do now?"

"Gabe, block the door with something. It'll buy us a few seconds
at most, but it should be enough." she instructed, and rushed
out towards the window and opened it.

Gabe hastily pushed his dresser to the door, and hurried towards
the window.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked, peering downwards.

Mina grabbed his collar, and said, "this," and threw him
out the window before jumping out herself.

Landing on the ground, she quickly held her arms out and braced
for impact, and Gabe landed in her arms, and laid him on the ground.

"Thanks," he said.

"Come on," she urged, "let's get out of here," and began
running.

However, it didn't take long before she sensed his approach. She
turned around and said, "Babe, watch out!"

Just as he was about to turn his head, the vampire leapt on Gabe,
hitting his head to the ground, knocking him out, before he
leapt towards Mina.

Mina side-stepped, dodging his attack, and hissed, "what do you
want?"

"No one insults me and gets away with it," he snarled.

"Oh, look at you, mister big and all mighty," she mocked.

"Shut up! You don't know me!" he replied.

She had an idea.

"Oh, really? I know that you're actually nothing more than
a show-offy, pretentious jerk.  I bet that
before you became a vampire, no one could actually stand you
in the first place."

"Shut up!" he snarled, a look of distress on his face, his
hands running down his long, flowing hair.

"Why, I bet I know the reason you're so obsessed with yourself
was that you could only play with yourself.
No one would even go near you outside of work, wouldn't they?
And I wonder why," she mused.

"Could it be your repugnant behavior towards them?
Your show-offy clothes, oh wait, I know.
You're actually lacking in the trunk, aren't ya?"
Mina taunted.

"Poor baby, putting on those fancy clothes and talk
and then the girl finds out he's as small as a.."

"Shut up!" he roared, and rushed towards her.

Instead of dodging or countering, Mina ran forward, and when
he tried to bite her neck, she punched his gut, causing him
to bend over, which allows her to grab his shoulders and throw
him away from her.

He landed on the ground, and Mina walked up to him, and placed
her foot on his head, and watched as he struggled on the pavement
underneath her.

"Now first, what were you thinking? Kill
my boyfriend, and then grab me and have your way with me?
Is that it?" Mina asked.

"Fuck you, you bitch," he hissed, and felt his skull crushing in.

"Slow learner, are you?" Mina asked. "I told you I don't like
it when people call me the b-word, and yet you keep on calling
me that. I'm not a female dog, do you hear me?"

He stayed silent.

"Do. You. Hear. Me?" she repeated, pushing her foot further
into his skull, using her body weight to push it even further.

"Yes, yes, I hear you! let me go, please! I'm sorry!" he pleaded.

"Alright," she replied, and lifted her foot, and watched him
get up.

"Now," she said, "what the hell did you had in mind when you
broke his door?"

Rubbing his right temple, "Damn. My head. I admit. I was trying
to get back at you."

"For what?"

"For making fun of me" he replied, a wounded look on his face.

"Oh, boo-hoo. What are you, ten? You kind of brought it on
yourself. First off, you lack common sense. That's one.
number two, your arrogant attitude isn't going to win you any
friends. Number three, even if you're upset, you could've
just told me or Luther, not break into my boyfriend's apartment
like some mindless brute."

"Well, the thought never occured to me," he whined.

"Idiot," Mina said, grabbed him by the collar, and hissed,
"Now listen to me. Fuck off, and leave us alone. If you want
to take lessons, do it with Luther. I don't care what he has
to say, I'm not going to deal with you again, do we make
ourselves clear?"

"Yes, crystal clear," he replied, before Mina shoved him
away from her, letting him fall on the pavement, and watched
as he got up and ran away.

She turned her head, and saw Gabe getting up, before sitting
down on the pavement, looking dazed and confused.

She walked up to him.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Dizzy, but I think I'm ok now," he said, as she pulled him up,
and they went back to his apartment and saw the damage.

"Damn," he sighed to himself.

"Hey," she said, wrapping her arms around his elbow. "You know,
you could pack some stuff up and stay with me for a while.."